FIC: Friday Night

[promethia_tenk]

Title: Friday Night
Fandom: HIMYM, Barney/Robin
Length: 700 words
Warning: Weirdness ahead.
Legalese: If I owned HIMYM, I would not decorate with Chinese checkerboards.  Sadly, Bays/Thomas own all and did not choose to consult me.
AN: Delayed reply to this prompt by 1angelette in the last drabble-a-thon.  Naked man!


When Robin returned to the living room, several thoughts ran through her head simultaneously:

   1)    Nature has been kind to that man.
   2)    Why, Barney, why?
   3)    Whoa, déjà vu.  (Heh.)
   4)    I was only gone, like, 20 seconds!
   5)    It’s not like this worked the last time he tried it.
   6)    You know . . . I’ve done worse.
   7)    I could really go for a grilled cheese sandwich.

Before she could sort any of this jumble out, however, Barney looked up from his iPhone, natural as you please, and spoke: “So, James Bond is all sold out, but you know that Sound of Music sing-along thing?  They’re doing it at this theater downtown on Saturday.  We should totally dress up for Rocky Horror instead, show up ‘by accident,’ and pick up nuns.”

Robin stared in mute astonishment at the man who, a mere 20 seconds ago, had been sitting on her couch—fully clothed, mind you—looking up movie times and waiting for her to grab her coat and who now, for all appearances, had not budged from the spot—except for the arresting fact that every stitch of clothing had vanished from his body.

“B-b-b-barney!”  Robin sputtered out her reply.

“What?  I’ll tell you: I’ve scoped one of these things out before, and at least half the nuns are guys.”

“Barney!”  This time she was more forceful.

“Do you already have plans?  Because I thought that thing with bus stop dude fell through.”

“Barney!!!”  Robin put one hand on her hip and gestured in wide-eyed frustration at his naked body.

“Fine, you can be Tim Curry.  But you’re gonna have to find your own shoes; I doubt we wear the same size.”

Robin snapped: “So not the point!  Why are you naked on my couch?!?!”

Barney looked credibly confused.  “Wha---?  You doin’ alright there, Robin?  Not that that’s a bad idea or anything.  You looking for a little somethin’ somethin’?”  And he began to loosen an invisible tie.

“No, no, no!!  No!”  Robin reached out a hand to stop the already naked man from stripping down again.  The voices returned:

   1)    Well, that’s just weird and ironic.
   2)    But . . . but . . . naked!  Want!
   3)    Scherbatsky! *mental slap* Get it back together!
   4)    Maybe he’s really not naked . . . ?
   5)    I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning.
   6)    He was going to let me be Tim Curry.
   7)    Sandwich!

Barney shrugged: “Your loss.”  He re-adjusted the non-existent knot and smoothed down his invisible lapels.  Robin very deliberately tried not to think about what the cut of those lapels did for his chest. 

“So the movie’s a no-go,” he continued.  “What’s our back-up plan?”

   1)    I got yer back-up plan right here.
   2)    Shut up!  Shut up!
   3)    How far is he going to go with this, exactly?  You gonna let him out of the house like that?
   4)    Heh.  We should totally let him out of the house like that.
   5)    No, Barney, you can be Tim Curry.
   6)    Frying butter . . . big fluffy hunks of bread . . . a little cheddar . . . .
   7)    No.  Seriously.  Sandwich!

Robin flopped into the armchair with a sigh.  “I dunno, Barney.  I’m kinda tired.  Wanna just scavenge some food and find a monster truck rally on cable?”

“Yeah, sounds goo . . .”  The lock turned in the door, and Ted walked in.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa . . . um, Robin?  Menu?”  Robin’s cheeks flared brilliant red, and she decided to take a quiet moment to stare a hole in the coffee table before turning to face her roommate.  She swallowed.

“Hey, Ted!  Late night at the office?  Grab us a few beers and join us.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna find some monster trucks.”  Barney remained unabashed.  He returned to his iPhone.  “Bids start at $200.”

Ted blinked a few times.  He looked at Barney, eyebrows raised.  He looked at Robin, who smiled back innocently.  He looked at Barney again.

Barney glanced back up.  “Ted?”

Ted blinked once more.  “Whatever.  Say, Barney . . . since you’re dressed for it, you wanna make me a grilled cheese sandwich?”

Comments

[da-phoenix13.livejournal.com]

LOVE THIS.

Especially the last line, and Robin's thought process. Also, Barney pretending he was still clothed. Hee!

[ladysarahii.livejournal.com]

Totally cute. I love Robin's mental lists. And Ted thinking they were up to something. :)

Such a wonderful read, I really enjoyed this.

[scoob2222.livejournal.com]

oh my ever loving god this is awesome

[katayla.livejournal.com]

Hee! This was a lot of fun!

[melroseee.livejournal.com]

this. was. legendary.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

THIS IS AWESOME. I love the inclusion of Ted. That takes this from amusing to 'makes my night'.

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

heee. i loved robin's thoughts. hilarious. i loved the whole thing, tbh.

[roland44.livejournal.com]

Love love love love lovvveeee it! *adds to memories*

[oboeshoes.livejournal.com]

Haha, this was really good! Invisible-suit for the winnn. :D

[idioticonion.livejournal.com]

This is the most amazingly amazing thing in the history of amazing.

Tim Curry WIN! Oh my god. The thought alone.

This story is going in my memories. RIGHT NOW.

[gryfndor-godess.livejournal.com]

OMG, this was so cute! I love how Robin doesn't completely lose control of herself, and Barney pretending to undress is so classic!

[ich-faultier.livejournal.com]

Oh Barney. What would we do if you weren't such a ridiculous manwhore? Thank you so much for this gem!

[oltha_heri.livejournal.com]

Oh my god Robin's mental lists are completely awesome.

[sequie.livejournal.com]

Damn awsome. And hello? Sandwich??? God, how I loved that! Such a great story!

[1angelette.livejournal.com]

Gooooosh, I like this. Thank you so much. You are welcome for the inspiration. *wonders if your!R/B are actually Going To Do It....

"I Got Yer Backup Plan Right Here." I LOVE train-of-thought stories but don't see them much in HIMYM; this is great. Short and so, so sweet.

[jamie55.livejournal.com]

...must stop laughing...

ok stoped, I was beginning to think Robin really was imagining him naked and then Ted comes in!

Loved Robin's mental lists or thought prcess - or whatever you wan to call it - LOVE IT!

And very nice insert that Barney cooks naked.