I love that crack theory! So fabulously convoluted and yet has that almost-appropriateness the best cracktheories have.

River written as a stereotypical Jack in fic is actually something I'm getting quite cross with. Of course, Jack written as stereotypical Jack makes me cross too, so . . .

I would prefer if she didn't yoda-fy him and lock him in a cage, though.
Word. Granted, I would also have preferred if the Master hadn't done that either. And that's not out of a concern for Ten's ego.