Found myself re-reading this and am still not really able to say anything specific, because it all just fits. It's lodged itself somewhere in my mind, and I find it difficult to comment on things that just are.
There are two things however that I wanted to comment on:
The Doctor has always been stronger than her in this way, as much as he refuses to believe it. He can face down his demons in the middle of the night, can wrestle them unassisted, in the dark, and then get up the next morning to do it all over again. She has no such fortitude. She can pull a trigger with a clear head, in the deadly certainty of its necessity. That is her strength, and she does not regret it, would do it again, would do it a million times if she had to. But this . . . this great afterwords . . . . No, she has no resources for it within herself, no way to cope with all the hours and minutes that stretch away from that point with a taunting emptiness. For some things, she laughs to herself, you need institutional help, and every once in a long while, even River Song can admit that she does need help. I absolutely love this insight, both into the Doctor and to River, and it's one of the things I'd never really thought about, but that fit so beautifully that I find myself all speechless. (There are also other thoughts that I want to share if you ever read my Alex 'verse. Just about how people cope - it's not really relevant to this fic in particular.) Anyway, it's always good to see differences highlighted.
Secondly, I love how the Doctor is mostly absent, and yet he's everywhere. I've been trying to think of a way to describe it, and the only thing that came to mind was this image from my profile page. I loved that image from the first time I saw it, because although it looks like just the Doctor, it's actually all about Amy - or about the Doctor and Amy, her impact on him: She's everywhere, like negative space. And that's how this fic works, that's how they work - you see the imprint they leave on each other, even when they're alone. So far we're mostly seeing the mark the Doctor has left on River, but with time we'll see how she shapes him in turn. And I love this fic for showing that.
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There are two things however that I wanted to comment on:
The Doctor has always been stronger than her in this way, as much as he refuses to believe it. He can face down his demons in the middle of the night, can wrestle them unassisted, in the dark, and then get up the next morning to do it all over again. She has no such fortitude. She can pull a trigger with a clear head, in the deadly certainty of its necessity. That is her strength, and she does not regret it, would do it again, would do it a million times if she had to. But this . . . this great afterwords . . . . No, she has no resources for it within herself, no way to cope with all the hours and minutes that stretch away from that point with a taunting emptiness. For some things, she laughs to herself, you need institutional help, and every once in a long while, even River Song can admit that she does need help.
I absolutely love this insight, both into the Doctor and to River, and it's one of the things I'd never really thought about, but that fit so beautifully that I find myself all speechless. (There are also other thoughts that I want to share if you ever read my Alex 'verse. Just about how people cope - it's not really relevant to this fic in particular.) Anyway, it's always good to see differences highlighted.
Secondly, I love how the Doctor is mostly absent, and yet he's everywhere. I've been trying to think of a way to describe it, and the only thing that came to mind was this image from my profile page. I loved that image from the first time I saw it, because although it looks like just the Doctor, it's actually all about Amy - or about the Doctor and Amy, her impact on him: She's everywhere, like negative space. And that's how this fic works, that's how they work - you see the imprint they leave on each other, even when they're alone. So far we're mostly seeing the mark the Doctor has left on River, but with time we'll see how she shapes him in turn. And I love this fic for showing that.